


Glee drabbles

by swallowthewhale



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4826669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swallowthewhale/pseuds/swallowthewhale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some old Glee drabbles and reaction fics from back when I watched Glee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written October 16, 2012

Blaine hasn’t spoken to Kurt for almost two weeks, since their fight. Kurt hasn’t change his relationship status on Facebook, but Blaine still has no idea what’s going on. He’s stopped calling every day, and texting and sending emails. He figures that if Kurt wants to talk to him, he’ll call.

He doesn’t realize it until he deliberately sabotages his audition for Grease. It takes him by surprise, makes him feel a little bit more than the unending agony that’s left him short of breath since he got back from New York. So he goes to see Ms. Pillsbury, because he doesn’t know who else to talk to. And even though he’s not sure how qualified she is, he figures she must at least be able to help him a little.

She ends up helping him more than just a little. She sets him up with a psychologist who specializes in depression and convinces to meet with her weekly to talk. He’s always thought that her advice is rather useless, but apparently she knows what she’s talking about. Maybe it’s because she has OCD and knows how difficult it is to overcome something like that. Either way, Blaine finds himself caring a little more every day.

His psychologist, Dr. Clark (“Prudence,” she says, wrinkling her nose a little, “but please, for God’s sake, call me Pru.”) is young and stubborn and surprisingly understanding. Blaine had been nervous, at first, admitting that he’s gay, but she had smiled at him and waved it off. They decide to have Blaine keep a journal, to write down how he’s feeling and why he thinks he’s feeling that day. Blaine hadn’t liked the idea in the beginning, but after a week he has to admit that it’s helping him think more clearly, at least.

Exactly a month after the first time he meets with Pru, Blaine emails Kurt again. (Dear Kurt, I’ve been seeing a psychologist. It’s helping a lot. Love, Blaine) There’s no reply, but Blaine didn’t expect one, and he sends another the next night. (I’ve been depressed. It’s hard getting through the days sometimes because I just feel so alone. I know you said you’re lonely too, but you have Rachel and Vogue and I have nothing and no one and some days I just feel so empty.) He keeps sending them, sometimes stories from glee club about the upcoming competition or the drama between all the new members and Grease rehearsals. He works up to sending a lengthy email about Sadie Hawkins, something he hasn’t ever really spoken about to anyone until recently.

By Christmas he can find at least one thing to smile about every day, even though Christmas time is always his least favorite time of the year. His parents disappear on ski trips and Cooper makes excuses as to why he can’t come home and his few friends have their own plans. Last year he went to the Hudmel’s for Christmas dinner, and with Burt and Carole and Finn and Rachel and Sam and Kurt he had felt like he belonged somewhere for once. He’s sure that he won’t be invited this year.

He tells Pru all of this, and she suggests talking to Cooper about coming home or to Sam about his plans. He tells her he’ll think about it, but knows he’ll be spending Christmas Eve alone in his too-big house with the TV and his aching heart for company. That night he makes a list of the people he can count as his friends, he’s not sure how sad it is that half the list is made up of his psychologists. He gives the list to Pru and she invites him to get coffee with her. (“As friends,” she says with a smile. “And besides, I think it’s about time I tell you why I became a psychologist.”) They don’t go to the Lima Bean. Pru tells him about her time in high school and she laughs when he sings a little bit of Dear Prudence.

On December 23 at 10:37pm, there’s a knock on Blaine’s door. He’s the only one home, which isn’t unusual, so he’s dressed lazily; pajama bottoms and a t-shirt under a robe, hair damp and curly from his shower. He can feel his heart drop into his stomach when it’s Kurt standing on his doorstep, looking shy and nervous and determined.

“Kurt,” Blaine breathes and he’s gripping the door so hard his knuckles are white.

Kurt takes a deep breathe. “Hi Blaine.”

“What are you doing here?” Blaine automatically steps back to let him in.

Kurt looks at him quizzically. “I’m back for Christmas, Blaine.”

Blaine shakes his head. “Not in Lima, here. Why are you here?”

“I got your emails,” Kurt says, turning to face him completely.

Blaine feels a little sick. “Oh.” He sits down slowly on one of the stools in the kitchen.

“I should have talked to you sooner. But by the time I was okay enough to, I wanted to talk to you in person, so…”

“You don’t have to defend yourself to me, Kurt. It was my fault, I - ”

“No, Blaine,” Kurt says gently. “It wasn’t all your fault. We both messed up. I wasn’t listening to you when you tried to tell me there was something wrong.”

Blaine shakes his head frantically. “It’s not your fault, you’re living your dream, Kurt. I understand.”

“You are my dream, Blaine Anderson,” Kurt scoffs. “And I was too caught up with New York and Vogue and everything that I never even noticed that you weren’t lonely in the same way I was.”

Blaine swallows harshly. “What do you mean?”

Kurt pulls a folded paper out of his pocket and smooths it out on the counter between them. “I’m actually not sure if you meant to send this one, because it’s the second I got that night, but I’m glad you sent it anyway.”

Blaine touches it with shaking fingers and recognizes it as an email he’d meant to delete several weeks ago. He’d been upset and crying and overwhelmed when he’d written it, and ended up talking about things he hadn’t wanted to mention.

“I forget, sometimes, that you’re not as put together as you seem.” Kurt covers Blaine’s hand with his own. “And I’d always prided myself on being able to see through whatever façade you put up. But maybe between the distance and all the new things in my life I forgot that you’re not as close with the glee club as I was, and that you don’t have the family I have.”

“When I went over to his house that night,” Blaine starts slowly, voice low and trembling, “it wasn’t because I wanted sex or affection or something. I was just so lonely, and it felt like we were never talking, and that even when I tried to tell you what was wrong, something else would come up and you’d have to go.” He looks up. “I’m not blaming you, I just…”

“I know, Blaine,” Kurt says sadly, squeezing his hand.

“I can’t tell you how much I regret it, how much I hate myself for it. Because as soon as I got there I realized that it wasn’t working. That even when I was there, I was still alone.”

“Blaine?”

He blinks up at Kurt, suddenly realizing that they’re both crying.

“What’s his name?”

Blaine tries to pull his hand away, but Kurt won’t let go. “Eli.”

Kurt exhales shakily. “And what did you do with him?”

“Kurt.” Blaine keeps his eyes fixed on the table.

Kurt reaches out to tilt his chin up, sliding his hand along his cheek and through the curls behind his ear. “Please tell me, Blaine.”

“We kissed. Made out, a bit. Then I left.”

Kurt releases a strangled sob and leans forward to press their foreheads together. “Blaine.”

“I’m so sorry, Kurt,” Blaine whispers.

Kurt pulls back to shake his head. “I thought you slept with him.”

Blaine stares at him with wide eyes. “It didn’t matter what we did. It was cheating. Would it have made a difference, anyway?”

Kurt sighs. “At first? Probably not. But the thought that you had given yourself to some random guy in a way you’d only given to me hurt so much. It killed me.”

Blaine shivers. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” Kurt commands gently. “What’s done is done. You’re my best friend, Blaine, and I want you back in my life.” He slips off the stool and tugs Blaine into a hug.

“Kurt,” Blaine sighs into Kurt’s shoulder. “You know we can’t be together again right away, right? I need to sort myself out first.”

“But we can be friends? Text and talk on the phone and Skype?” Kurt’s watching him hopefully, hands firm on Blaine’s shoulders.

The clamp around Blaine’s chest crumbles a little and he smiles. “I’d like that.”


	2. Listen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on November 16, 2012

_Have you heard from Blaine recently?_

Kurt frowns and immediately types out a reply to Tina. _Not since Grease._

He waits impatiently for the buzz of his phone. _He hasn’t been in school for two days. He won’t answer his phone or our messages on fb. I’m worried._

He opens facebook with shaking hands and scrolls past the posts on Blaine’s wall from the Glee club to find his last status from nearly four days ago: “if no one will listen.” He knows it’s a song lyric, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling like a stone’s been dropped into his stomach.

“Kurt?”

“Tina, what happened?”

She’s quiet for a moment. “Blaine went to see the Warblers last week.”

“He what? Why?”

“I think he felt really alone here. But on Monday, everyone had found out and was giving him crap for it, and I don’t think anyone talked to him the rest of the day. He didn’t come in Tuesday or today. He won’t answer his phone.”

Kurt feels like he can’t breathe. How could he have forgotten that he left Blaine virtually alone in Lima? How could he forget that doesn’t have anyone but him to listen to him? And then when Blaine tried to talk to him, he walked away, again and again. He feels a little nauseous, but he swallows it down. “Okay. Tina, do you know where he lives? I need you to go to his house. I’m going to try calling him.”

“Okay,” Tina whispers.

“Call me when you get there.”

“Okay,” Tina’s voice sounds stronger. “I’m leaving now.”

Kurt finds Blaine in his contacts, still there as “Bee” from when he had changed it over the summer. It’s an odd sense of déjà vu, after all the times he’s tried to work up the courage to call Blaine after what had happened, but this time he doesn’t hesitate. And this time, when Blaine doesn’t answer, he’s anything but relieved.

He texts him, _Blaine, please pick up_ , before calling again. Over and over until he’s leaving slightly hysterical messages in Blaine’s voicemail. But then Tina’s calling and he nearly drops his phone in his haste to pick up.

“Tina?”

“Kurt. He’s here, he’s fine. It’s fine,” she sounds out of breath and relieved. “Do you want to talk to him?”

He opens his mouth to reply only to hear a muffled voice on the other end and realizes that she’s not talking to him.

“Kurt?”

“Yeah?” he hates how desperate he sounds.

“He says he doesn’t want to talk right now, but is it okay if he calls you later?”

“Yes, definitely.” He slumps back into the couch and closes his eyes. “He’s okay?”

“No,” she says softly. “But he will be.”

\---

Blaine opens the door after the fourth time the doorbell rings, and he barely looks surprised that Tina’s there. There are dark circles under his eyes, his curls are un-gelled and frizzy, and he’s dressed in pajamas even though it’s nearly four in the afternoon.

“Blaine?” Tina asks, stepping forward hesitantly.

“Why are you here?” Blaine asks, voice hoarse.

“I was worried. You weren’t answering your phone.”

Blaine blinks. “But no one cares.”

Tina gapes at him, heart breaking. “Of course people care,” she whispers fiercely. “I care, and Sam and Britt and Sugar and Kurt-”

He flinches. “Kurt doesn’t care.”

“He’s been calling you nonstop for the past hour,” she says softly.

He slumps against the doorframe and closes his eyes briefly. “I’ve been falling apart for weeks.” His voice wavers. “Why haven’t any of you said anything if you all care so much?”

Tina doesn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” she finally manages. “Can I come it? So we can talk?”

Blaine hesitates before stepping back and as soon as the door is closed behind her, she sweeps in to hug him. He melts into her embrace and let’s himself relax. Maybe things will be okay, now.

\---

Kurt can’t concentrate on anything. For months he’s been avoiding everything about Blaine; thinking about him, talking to him, seeing him. And now all he wants is to be able to be in Ohio and see that he’s okay for himself. He needs to apologize for leaving him alone at McKinley, and for not making time for him, and for forgetting to be there for him, no matter what.

And he’s still hurt by Blaine cheating, isn’t sure how much he trusts Blaine right now, but in the end, he still loves Blaine. And he needs to tell him that. But it’s not a conversation he wants to have over the phone, and he doesn’t know when he’ll see him again in person. Fuck.

He ends up in the kitchen after half an hour of pacing around the couch, trying to get lost in the familiarity of cooking to keep his mind off Blaine. It doesn’t last long enough, though, and he’s back to pacing while his soufflé is in the oven. It’s been exactly three hours since Tina called that his phone rings and he snatches it up, answering before checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” he says breathlessly.

“Kurt?” comes Blaine’s voice from the other end, tentative and quiet.

“Blaine,” Kurt sighs, sinking onto his bed with relief. “Are you okay?”

Blaine huffs a laugh. “Not really.” He clears his throat a little. “But I think I will be.”

Kurt smiles. “Good.”

There’s an awkward silence during which Kurt can hear Blaine shuffling around.

“We need to talk,” Kurt finally says, and he can just imagine Blaine freezing up.

“You want to talk?” Blaine asks, voice a little strained.

“Yeah.” Kurt rolls over to touch the framed picture of them at Kurt’s junior prom sitting on his bedside table. He’d dug it up just minutes ago. “I think we both have a lot to say.”


	3. Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written December 6, 2012

Kurt gets home to find a box sitting in front of his door. It’s addressed to him, but there’s no return address. He figures it’s from his dad or Finn and they just forgot to put a return label, but when he opens it he finds a Tupperware filled with cookies. Taped to the top is a folded paper that says “to bake you cookies at least twice a year.”

Blaine answers on the second ring.

“You know cookies don’t fix everything,” Kurt says immediately, voice half teasing and half serious.

“I know,” Blaine replies. “That’s not why I sent them.” The background noise on Blaine’s end suddenly disappears.

“Where are you?”

“Glee, we’re - ”

“Blaine,” Kurt admonishes. “Why’d you answer your phone in school?”

There’s a lengthy pause and Kurt suddenly knows why.

“I promised to always answer your calls,” Blaine says shakily.

“Oh.” Kurt’s chest tightens, but he ignores it.

“Um, I should get back. Everything’s been really hectic since sectionals.”

“Okay.” Kurt’s surprised to feel reluctant to hang up. “I’ll talk to you later, then.”

There’s a quiet exhale from Blaine. “I’d like that.”

Kurt wants to say I love you, but he doesn’t. Not yet, anyway.

“Enjoy the cookies.”

Kurt smiles. “I will, thank you.”


	4. christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written December 14, 2012

“Why did you say you’re okay with me applying to NYADA?” Blaine asks rather bluntly after Burt’s gone to bed and Kurt is helping Blaine to get out pillows and blankets for the couch.

Kurt freezes and gapes at Blaine for a moment before answering. “Because I am?”

Blaine sits down and fidgets with the corner of the quilt. “You didn’t really seem to be.” He looks up with big, sincere eyes. “And that’s fine. You don’t have to be okay with me going to NYADA, and you don’t have to be scared to tell me that.”

Kurt sighs and sits down on the coffee table, which he normally wouldn’t let anyone do, but doesn’t seem to care too much at this point. “I don’t think I’m ready for that right now,” he says slowly, honestly. “But I don’t know how I’ll feel in eight months, and that’s not fair to you. You should go to whichever school you want, regardless of how I feel about it. It’s your future, Blaine. Your life.”

“I know,” Blaine whispers. “But if we’re both at NYADA and you’re uncomfortable with it, it won’t be good for anyone. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, and if that means not going to NYADA, then so be it.”

Kurt sighs. “Please, Blaine, don’t do that. Apply to NYADA and every other school you’re interested in, and then when you get your acceptance letters, you can make your decision. Don’t base it on me, or your parents, or anything other than what you want.”

Blaine curls into himself a little and peers up at Kurt shyly. “Thank you.”

Kurt smiles and pats his knee gently. “You’ve always been supportive of me following my dreams. Don’t think I’m going to do anything less for you.”

Just as Kurt is about to stand and retreat to his corner of the apartment, Blaine speaks again. “I’m sorry for just showing up all of a sudden.”

Kurt sinks back down. “Blaine.”

He shakes his head, pressing his lips together and looking away. “You probably didn’t really want me to be around after your dad telling you about the… you know.”

“Cancer,” Kurt fills in quietly.

Blaine nods, blinking fiercely to keep the tears away. “I just - I really needed to see you, you know? To - to talk and um, just to be near you, even for a little.”

Kurt feels his heart breaking all over again. He feels so torn; it’d been weird, yeah, to have his dad and Blaine acting so normally when to Kurt it felt like everything was falling apart. “I am happy to have you here.” He scoots forward to bump their knees together and carefully folds Blaine’s hand in his. “I was the one who suggested seeing each other at Christmas, remember?”

Blaine nods, but keeps his head down. “I thought you didn’t want to anymore,” he mumbles.

“Oh, Blaine,” Kurt sighs. “Things are still weird and kind of awkward between us, I know, but you are my best friend and I love you. I’m thrilled that I get to spend Christmas with you.”

Blaine smiles shakily. “You know I would have understood if you wanted me to go home so you could just spend time with your dad. I’m not really family or anything.”

Kurt frowns. “You are part of my family, Blaine Anderson, stop doubting that. And I’m still not planning on ever saying goodbye to you.”

Blaine breaks down at that, and Kurt doesn’t hesitate in sitting next to him and pulling him into his side comfortingly; and when Burt gets up in the morning, they’re curled up and sound asleep.


	5. apple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written March 29, 2013

Blaine has to find the roundest, reddest apple to give to Kurt, because Kurt is his best friend. Not a Snow White apple, even though Kurt has pale skin like Snow White’s, because Blaine doesn’t want Kurt to fall asleep for lots and lots of years. If he did fall asleep, though, Blaine would kiss him, like in the movie, because even if he doesn’t know what true love is, exactly, he loves Kurt an awful lot. But he doesn’t want Kurt to fall asleep because they’re having a tea party on Saturday and Kurt’s mommy is letting them use the pretty white china with tiny pink flowers painted on them, and she’s going to help Kurt make little sandwiches cut into triangles. Blaine feels bad for not bringing anything to the tea party, he wants to make cookies but his mommy doesn’t have time to help him this week, so he decides to bring an apple for Kurt because it’s Kurt’s favorite fruit.

And that’s why he spends the entirety of the shopping trip with his mommy sorting through the pile of apples, looking for the perfect one. And if the cashier looks at him a little strangely when he goes up with just one apple in the clear plastic bag and a pocketful of quarters from his allowance, it’s worth it for the way Kurt’s smile brightens when Blaine gives him the apple, which he’d carefully washed before coming over. Kurt hugs him too, which makes Blaine’s stomach swoop because Kurt gives the best hugs, and compliments his bowtie, which is the exact color of the apple. But the best part is when Kurt’s mommy cuts the apple into perfect halves and they share.


	6. milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know. I really don't. Something put this idea in my head but it was three years ago and I just can't remember what.  
> Not strictly Glee but it makes me smile, so...

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Joey.”

“Joey? What’s up?” A pause. “Why are you calling the store phone?”

Joey sighs. “At some point today, Darren will hopefully be by. Can you remind him to buy milk?”

He waits, and grins along with the inevitable laughter from the other end.

“Sure,” the girl agrees eventually. “How long have you not had milk, exactly?”

“Too long,” Joey says. “And if I hear that stupid sock song one more time, I’m going to dump my fucking dry cereal over Darren while he’s sleeping.”

She laughs again. “Milk. Sure.”

“Thanks.”

“The sock song?”

“Don’t ask,” Joey says immediately. “Because then he’ll sing it and you’ll have it stuck in your head forever.”

“Okay, now I’m half tempted to ask him anyway.”

Joey shakes his head, even though she can’t see him. “Don’t. I’m serious, don’t. You will regret it.”

“Hmm. I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. Thanks again.”

“See you next time you run out of milk,” she replies.

When Joey goes into the store two days later, the note is still sitting by the register. _Remind Darren about the milk._


End file.
